Your mouth is clean. Time to dirty it up again. What're you going to have for breakfast?\n\n<<choice "cereal and orange juice">>\n<<choice "eggs and bacon">>\n<<choice "skip breakfast">>
Work's all done. What do you want to do now?\n\n<<choice "head to the cinema with a friend">>\n<<choice "go home and play video games">>\n<<choice "go to the gym">>
While you try to work around it, you come across another problem. You try to work around this one, too. You encounter yet another problem. You go back to the first problem and try another solution, which leads to another problem. As you try to work around this one, you have an aneurysm.
"I'm doing pretty well. And how are you?" he asks?\n\nWhat do you answer?\n\n<<choice "grunt">>\n<<choice "fine">>\n<<choice "safe">>
An alien parasite laid eggs in your mouth while you were asleep. Brushing your teeth might have dislodged them, but since you skipped the bathroom they grow up, burrow through the roof of your mouth into your skull and feast on your brains.
Someone locks the door behind you.\n\n"We are the sales department." the Head of Sales intones. Fire bursts from his eyes.\n\nHe pulls out a pitchfork from under his desk.\n\n"No one tells use what to do."
As you round the corner, you get hit by a biker. You tumble backwards directly into the path of an oncoming tram.
You're on the right side of the bed. Which leg do you get out of bed with?\n\n* Open <<choice "Left leg first">>\n* Open <<choice "Right leg first">>
You wake up. It is another day in your life. \n\nYour goal for today: not dying.\n\n<<choice "Get out of bed">>
Someone reaches around from behind you and places a cloth over your mouth and nose. You smell something sweet and everything goes black.\n\nYou wake up naked, strapped to an office chair. You can barely make out three people standing in front of you, one of them is shining a flashlight into your eyes.\n\n"We are the the Anti Bureaucracy Leage. We have determined that you are a useless bureacrat."\n\nThe man on the left starts up a chainsaw.
Each bite is better than the last: suppler, buttery, laden with grease. You've always loved breakfast the most. But as you approach the end of your portion, you feel a clenching in your chest. It's as though your arteries are hardening with every bite! By the time you remember that high cholesterol and heart attack run in your family, it's too late. You're assailed by stabbing pain in your left leg and somewhere over your heart. You topple off of your chair, still clutching your last forkful of bacon.
As you are engrossed in the latest cat pictures, you suddenly notice that your boss is approaching, is almost behind you in fact.\n\nWhat do you do?\n\n<<choice "leave reddit open">>\n<<choice "quickly switch to something that looks like work">>
You get into bed.\n\n<<choice "toss and turn">>\n<<choice "sleep">>
You grab a coffee and sit down at your desk, what do you do?\n\n<<choice "open reddit">>\n<<choice "work">>
You go home and play your favorite online role playing game where you kill monsters for 8 hours, hoping that they will drop some good equipment, so that you can use it kill some more powerful monsters that might drop some even better equipment. You might as well be dead.
You had a nutritious breakfast. Time to get to work. But how?\n\n<<choice "bike to work">>\n<<choice "take the tram">>\n<<choice "walk">>
It's excruciatingly bad. You try to get out early, but you find the door is locked. You try another door. Locked, too. All of them are locked. You frantically hammer on one of them.
You get into the elevator with your boss. What do you do?\n\n<<choice "comment on the weather">>\n<<choice "ask how he is doing">>\n<<choice "grunt">>
As you work on your project, you realize that you need to get some help from the Sales department to make your project really work.\n\nWhat do you do about it?\n\n<<choice "try to work around it">>\n<<choice "go over to the other department">> and ask them to help.\n<<choice "send an email to your boss">>, asking him to ask the other department to help you.
The Sales department now knows you are desparate and uses this as leverage to sweet-talk you into signing over all your future earnings in exchange for their help. You go back to your desk and hang yourself.
What movie do you want to watch?\n\n<<choice "The Ring rerun">>\n<<choice "Random RomCom">>\n<<choice "Scary Movie 12">>
As you walk from the tram stop to the office building, you see your boss approaching from the opposite direction. If you continue on, you're sure to end up in the same elevetor. You haven't had your morning cup of coffee yet and you don't feel like chit-chatting. He hasn't seen you yet. What do you do?\n\n<<choice "jump into a side street">>\nBite the bullet and <<choice "continue on">>
You made it home.\n\n<<choice "time to sleep">>
You're biking behind a tram that's about to reach a stop. As you're changing lanes to overtake it, your front wheel gets stuck in one of the tram tracks. You sommersault over the handlebars, crashing through the back window of the tram. Glass pieces of the windows slash through both your wrists and your jugular. You bleed out in seconds.
You pick up some paper, and get back to work. What do you do?\n\n<<choice "open reddit again">>\n<<choice "work on your project">>
Turns out the site street has been restyled as Needle McBlademasters latest modern art exhibit. You stumble over what turns out to be razorsharp blade that cuts off both your feet. You fall against shelf, and a basketful of razorblades falls off the top onto you.
you go back to your desk. \n\n<<choice "back to reddit">>\n<<choice "call it a day">>
After you leave the theater, you get a phone call...
The top story on reddit is "If you click on this link, I will kill you." Wondering what that's all about, you click on it. You feel someone sliding a knife into your neck.
"sa-" you try to say as the elevator lights flicker out. A loud noise from above. The elevator plummets.
Above you, someone is keeping a Buddha statue on his window sill. As he's dusting it, it slips out of his hands and falls out of the window. It lands directly on your head, crushing your skull.
After you're done with the gym you go the sauna. You fall asleep, dehydrate and die.
You leave the cinema vaguely entertained.\n\nWhat now?\n\n<<choice "go home">>
You grunt.\nHe grunts louder.\nYou grunt even louder.\nHe growls.\nYou growl harder.\nHe pushes you.\nYou push back.\n\nYou wrestle each other and bounce around the elevator. He gets in a good punch to your jaw. You crumble. He jumps on top of you, wraps his big power manager hands around your throat and finishes you off.
Congratulations! You made it through the day without dying.\n\n[[Finish|Start]]
You swing your left leg over and slip on the floor. The momentum slams you against the wall. You bounce off, hit the bedside table and break your neck.
What do you order?\n\n<<choice "same thing as always">>\n<<choice "try something new">>
You taste the new dish. It is better than the thing you usually get. You could've have this better thing all this time. You are so shocked you fall of your chair. The waitress stumbles over you and dumps a plate of boiling hot soup over your head.
"Nice weather we're having today," you say.\n\nYour boss stares at you. "You're really talking about the weather?" he says, deadpan. He reaches inside his backpack and takes out a pump action shotgun. He steps forward and jams the gun into your abdomen. He pulls the trigger.
Your ex-spouse was always annoyed when you tossed and turned in bed. She put a curse on you and it finally kicks in. You flip over. You flip over again. You can't stop. Soon you're spinning around. So fast, the friction heats up your skin. You catch fire and burn.
All the co-workers that are sitting around you get up at the same time.\n\n"You know, you're all making us look bad by being so hard-working." one of them says. All of them start to slowly walk towards your desk.\n\n"We need to put an end to this." another mumbles.\n\nThey are all standing around you now. You feel a hand on each shoulder. The one to your left grabs your keyboard, raises it high, and brings it down on your head.
What do you say to them?\n\n<<choice "ask them nicely">>\n<<choice "tell them you need this badly">>\n<<choice "tell them to get their act together">>
You quickly alt-tab to another window, but your boss saw it.\n\n"I hate when people lie to me." he says. \n\nHe pulls you up by your shirt, head butts you. You fall to the ground. \n\n"I'm so sick of your bullshit."\n\nHe jumps on top of you, grabs your head and pounds it against the ground until you go limp.
How much do you tip?\n\n<<choice "no tip">>\n<<choice "normal tip">>
All the co-workers that are sitting around you get up at the same time.\n\n"You know, we're sick and tired of you doing absolutely nothing all day" one of them says. All of them start to slowly walk towards your desk.\n\n"We need to put an end to this." another mumbles.\n\nThey are all standing around you now. You feel a hand on each shoulder. The one standing to your left grabs your keyboard, raises it high, and brings it down on your head.
Food poisoning. You dead.
Time for some mouth hygiene... or not. What's your pleasure?\n\n<<choice "Brush your teeth">>\n<<choice "Use mouthwash">>\n<<choice "Skip bathroom">>
As vigorously brush the front of your teeth, you accidentally jam the toothbrush deep into your gums.
"That cat picture is so funny," your boss says. "Hey, I noticed that the printer is out of paper, could you run to the store and grab some on the way back from lunch? Thanks!" he walks off.\n\nIt certainly is lunchtime. Where do you go?\n\n<<choice "skip lunch and just get paper">>\n<<choice "go to the place you always go to">>\n<<choice "try a new place">>
As you walk past the kitchen, the God of Proper Nutrition appears in front of you in a puff of smoke. In his left hand he holds an apple. He grabs you by the shirt and jams the apple into your mouth until you suffocate.
On the way to the office supply store, you remember that you have Diabetes. Your blood sugar plummets. You fall to the ground twitching. You're dead.